Self Acceptance

two person hugging photograph

The other day, I was driving home with my oldest when we stopped by in and out to grab him a lettuce wrap. I asked if he would like a Neapolitan shake (his favorite) and he hesitantly said no. I asked him why he declined the shake and he responded, “well, when I began to think about it, I don’t really think it would be best for me”. My son isn’t necessarily wrong but he isn’t right either. He is 15! Works out religiously, eats well, has a ridiculous physique for a 15 year old BUT above all things, he is only 15!

I acknowledge and support his mindset. His discipline is to be admired but his life is also to be enjoyed. You see, half the time he wants to just be a kid and enjoy a treat, but ego tells him he CAN’T because he wants to look a certain way.

What does this all have to do with self acceptance? Robert Holden really touches home when he said, “No amount of self improvement can make up for a lack of self acceptance”. Which is precisely what I told him and what I’ll tell you.

I had my first child at 20 and my second at 23. All the while, going to school to receive my bachelors. I took a year off after graduation and then went onto law school. I have always been the default parent and burnt out half the time. Some days I was happy, but most times, I was simply busy trying to push myself harder. Study harder, parent harder, eat better, workout harder, etc.

It wasn’t until COVID and the pregnancy of my third that really humbled me. I have always planned my life out, tried to stay one step ahead. However, nothing in the world could have prepared us for a pandemic and I certainly wasn’t expecting nor planning another pregnancy. Life happens. Life is short. At the end of the day, I have carried, birthed, and am raising humans. The crap I have put my body through is unfathomable. Sometimes, I truly wonder how I am still alive.

What we don’t want to acknowledge is that it takes a lot to show love and gratitude to our physical bodies for carrying us through life. I am grateful for a mind that loves to continually learn and explore all the things. But I can’t ever remember taking a moment to just say, “hey, thank you feet for keeping me up all day long?” I will spare you a speech on gratitude to the whole anatomy haha! But you get my point. Because no matter how much self-improvement you make in accolades or in fitness, none of it will make up for a lack of self-acceptance of ourselves here and now. Whatever that may look like to you.

Self-acceptance never came easy and it is hard to sustain. However, as long as my mind is still willing and my body is still giving, I am forever grateful. With that being said, I also leave you with love and gratitude for being here.